Live, Love, Give…Musings and reflections

Every time someone touches us, we immediately have a choice: fight or yield? Interestingly enough, the answer to that question depends entirely on our evaluation of the situation.

For example, if some random guy off the street came up to me and began to smooth my hair, I’d likely fight. But the same action, from someone like my parents, my siblings, or a good friend, would find me yielding. My evaluation of the situation would be different based on my perception of relationship and intention.

Similarly, consider this: the only thing that differentiates the act of marital intimacy from the crime of rape is the recipient’s evaluation of relationship and intention. Within a marriage, this is consensual. Forced, it becomes a crime.

Often, we fight the touches that are best for us-the ones that want to help us. There is a scene in the movie Deja Vu that illustrates this point: a federal officer, played by Denzel Washington, has found a kidnapping victim and tries to untie her wrists, but she has a hood over her head. Thinking he’s her kidnapper, she fights him. “Don’t fight me; I’m here to help you,” he tells her after identifying himself. Later, she still doesn’t believe him and even pulls a gun on him. All the while, though, he tried to convince her that he really was trying to help her. Similarly, in the movie The Princess Bride, Buttercup repeatedly fights Westley while he is disguised in black. She didn’t know who he was, and therefore didn’t correctly evaluate his intentions.

Every one of us wants our actions to be received, not rejected. We don’t want to be fought, we want others to accept and yield to our actions. Rejection hurts; it’s no fun, and we don’t want it. And get this: God feels the same way.

God doesn’t want to be rejected or fought any more than you or I. Often, though, we misevaluate His intentions and fight Him. But in reality, He wants to love us, help us, and protect us.

This is a great song by Tenth Avenue North to illustrate this point. I first heard it about a week ago, and have been mulling it over ever since.

By Your Side

Tenth Avenue North

Why are you striving these days
Why are you trying to earn grace
Why are you crying
Let me lift up your face
Just don’t turn away

Why are you looking for love
Why are you still searching as if I’m not enough
To where will you go child
Tell me where will you run
To where will you run

‘Cause I’ll be by your side
Wherever you fall
In the dead of night
Whenever you call
And please don’t fight
These hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you

Look at these hands and my side
They swallowed the grave on that night
When I drank the world’s sin
So I could carry you in
And give you life
I want to give you life

(Chorus 2x)

Cause I, I love you
I want you to know
That I, I love you
I’ll never let you go