Am I allowed?
Allowed to think this way, feel these feelings, say these words?
Allowed to express myself this way or that way? To love this person or that?
All my life I’ve been encouraged to break away from the world, refuse to follow the crowd. Did my encouragers not see? Did they not realise their humanity? Did they not see that a day would come when I might have to reject their ideas in my search for absolute truth? Did they not realise they would one day be the “crowd” I’d break away from?
I’ve come to see this. What if their ideas are flawed? Should I break from them and the crowd? These encouragers want me to think for myself, to be accountable to God, not men; can they handle it if I am? Can they stand the fruit of their teaching? If I choose and they disagree with my choice, can they accept that as the expression of their teaching in me?
I am allowed. But should I? Paul says everything is permissible, but not everything is beneficial. In his book Showdown, Ted Dekker tells of children who are taught to base all they do on the discovery of love, its understanding.
The discovery of love. Should I, then, exercise my freedom, my ultimate allowance, my free will, within the limits imposed by love and its discovery? Should I live, then, on a continual quest for a fuller understanding of love, rejecting actions that would turn me from my quest? Should I stop worrying so much about legalistic jots and tittles and instead pierce straight to the heart of law: love?
Yes. And I will.
